Witty Sayings

Dr Bean

2025-01-17

A: Call tails legs and a pig has 5 legs.
B: Calling it a leg doesn’t make it a leg.
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/11/15/legs/

You can fool all of the people some of the
time, and some of the people all the time,
but you can’t fool all of the people all of
the time. https://quoteinvestigator.com/
2013/12/11/cannot-fool/

“No strings attached” (read: On the take)

Korean monk (Going behind the temple
to smoke): ’Baudelaire said smoking is
the purple art.’

‘The perfect is the enemy of the good’

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

‘The perfect is the enemy of the good’

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

‘The perfect is the enemy of the good’
means if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.
But, my enemy’s enemy is my friend.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.
But, my enemy’s enemy is my friend.
Failures and mistakes are your friend.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.
But, my enemy’s enemy is my friend.
Ambition and hubris are my friend.

My enemy’s enemies are my friends.
But, with friends like these, who
needs enemies.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.
But, with enemies like these, who
needs friends.

Flip the script: Goodies are baddies,
baddies are goodies.

Flip the script: Goodies are baddies,
baddies are goodies. Bad goodies are
good baddies and the ugly bad goodies.

Flip the script: Goodies are baddies,
baddies are goodies. The ugly are bad
goodies and others good baddies.

All’s fair in love and war.

Make love, not war.

All’s fair in love and war.
Make love, not war.

If all’s fair in love and war, then
the ‘fog of war’ also covers love, and
by extension, all social intercourse.
QED

No battle plan survives first
contact with the enemy.
https://Quoteinvestigator.com/2021/05/04/no-plan/

Everybody has a plan until they get hit
–Mike Tyson
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2021/08/25/plans-hit/

Plans Are Worthless, But Planning Is Everything
–Dwight Eisenhower
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/11/18/planning/

One brain and consciousness researcher
in praise of another's experimental skills:
The electrode in the monkey’s skull was
rock solid for 48 hours.

Better a bottle in front of me
than a frontal lobotomy.
–Dorothy Parker

Better a warm heart and cool head
than a hot head with cold feet.

In Canada, ordered out of the pool,
everyone gets out.
In the US, Lifeguard: ’Everyone out
of the pool,’ people start arguing.
http://drbean.sdf.org/ACanadianInNYC

‘I think, therefore I am’ could only
be the statement of an intellectual
who doesn’t understand toothaches.
–Milan Kundera

Dr Bean: We are born helpless and clinging.
No wonder we are everywhere in chains.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau: Et toi?

All teaching is teaching
under difficult circumstances.
–Dr Bean

Autonomous language learning:
My next project after overseeing
the making of laborers into athletes.

The teacher as the monkey in the works.
Intervention without understanding.
–Dr Bean

Practitioners just do it.
Reflective Practitioners just think they
did it.

If there is one thing we know after
studying experts, it is that
they know more than we know.

If there is one thing we learn from the
study of the knowledge of experts, it is that
experts learn more than we learn.

If there is one thing we learn from the
study of what experts know, it is that
experts learn more than we learn.

If there is one thing we’ve learned
from studying experts, it is that
experts learn more than we learn.

If there is one thing we learn from the
study of language learning, it is that
language learners learn more than we learn.

The best jokes are
those you play on
yourself.

If there is one thing we learn from the
study of becoming an expert, it is that
experts learn more than we learn.

If there is one thing we learn from
studying learners, it is that
they learn more than we learn.

If there is anything that we can say after
looking at teaching, it is that teachers
have more to say than we do.

I’ve tried to teach people autodidactism,
but it seems they always have to learn it for
themselves. –Shae Matijs Erisson

Learning: How do I get there from here?
Teaching: Where do I have to be to get
there from here?

Learning: How do I get there from here?
Teaching: Where am I?

The flip side of dreaming I am a butterfly
is the fear, waking up in the morning and
relieving myself, I am wetting the bed.

Make a mistake.
Try it, you’ll like it.
–Dr Bean

Make a mistake. Try it, you’ll like it.
–Dr Bean

Anyone who doesn’t make mistakes
isn’t trying hard enough.
– Wess Roberts

If you’re not making any mistakes,
you must be making some mistake. The
perfect is the enemy of the good.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
that can only be a mistake. The
perfect is the enemy of the good.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
you must be making some mistake.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
that can only be a mistake.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
that’s a mistake.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
make a mistake. Try it, you’ll like it.

If you’re not making any mistakes,
make one. Try it, you’ll like it.

Move fast and break things.
–Mark Zuckerberg

You can lead a horse to water,
but you can’t make it drink
unless you gallop it round first.

Think globally.
Act locally.
Think one thing, do another.

Handle reality, or reality will handle you.
–Benjamin Franz

Teaching: computer programming
done by monkeys.
–Dr Bean

Teaching: The last refuge of the manipulative.
–Dr Bean

To do is to be– Descartes
To be is to do– Voltaire
Do be do be do– Frank Sinatra
Men’s Restrooms, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/16/do-be-do/

Failed to turn my reluctant students into
autonomous language learners, but it did
wonders for my personal fitness program.

No trees were killed in the sending of this
message. However, a great many instructions
were executed.–from Richard Rognlie

Success is going from failure
to failure without loss of
confidence–Winston Churchill

Experience is the best teacher because it
gives the test first & the lesson after.
–From Martin Pauly

Teaching: leaving
fingerprints over the tabula rasa.
–Dr Bean

We have dirty dishwater and dirty towels and
nevertheless finally succeed in getting the
plates and glasses clean.
–Niels Bohr

Academic politics is so bitter because the stakes
are so small.
–Wallace S Sayre

Planning permission for an atomic power plant
is easy, but getting a bike shed built is
virtually impossible.–C Northcote Parkinson

In mathematics, you don’t understand things.
You just get used to them.
–John von Neumann

It was said a million monkeys on a million
calculators would eventually discover the
laws of mathematics. Now thanks to the
education system, we know this is not so.
–Robert Wilensky

A businessperson is a device
for turning money into money.

A business is a device for
turning money into money.

A mathematician is a device for
turning coffee into theorems.
Alfréd Rén

Teacher: a device for turning
knowledge into learning

Teacher: a spooky-action-at-a-distance
device for turning knowledge into
learning

Teacher: an action-at-a-distance
device for turning knowledge into
learning

Talking: brain surgery
over the telephone

Teaching: brain surgery
with a blunt instrument
–Dr Bean

Some are born autonomous. Some achieve
autonomy. And some have autonomy thrust
upon them. –Dr Bean

It was said a million monkeys on a million
typewriters would eventually write the works
of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet,
we know this is not so. –Robert Wilensky

Once the writer in every individual comes to
life (and that time is not far off), we are
in for an age of universal deafness and
lack of understanding. –Milan Kundera

People don’t know what they say or what they
think they ought to say.–Leonard Bloomfield,
quoted by Virginia McDavid

The spirit is willing, but the
flesh has its own program.

The spirit is willing, but the
flesh has other plans.

The spirit is willing, but the
flesh just laughs.

Intention and action are loosely
coupled. Action is the driver.
Intention is the back-seat driver.

By intention, action follows intention
as night follows day. In actuality,
intention follows action, as day night.

Intention and action as night
follows day. Action and intention
as long day’s journey into night.

Action and intention as night
follows day. Intention and action
as long day’s journey into night.

Intention and action, night and
day. Action and intention,
long day’s journey into night.

If your only tool is a hammer,
every problem looks like a nail.
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/05/08/hammer-nail/

Rather than do things right,
Do the right thing.
–Anonymous

Rather than doing the right thing,
Doing things right.
-Anonymous

When the going gets tough,
the tough get going.
–football coach saying

Those who do do.
Those who think don’t.
–Dr Bean

Those who do do.
Those who think don’t do do do.
–Dr Bean

Those who can just do it.
Those who just do it can’t teach it.
–G B Shaw

Those who can do.
Those who can’t operate.
–G B Shaw

For every problem, there is a solution that is
simple, neat, and wrong.
–HL Mencken

“Many of the truths we cling to depend
greatly upon our own point of view.”
–Obi Wan Kenobi

Those who can do.
Those who can’t teach.
–G B Shaw

Education is not a horse race.
–John Olson

None of the language can be explained well
until most of it has already been explained.
–Norman Cohen

None of the language can be explained well
until most of it has already been understood.
–Norman Cohen

Foot Heads Arms Body
https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2010/mar/05/footnotes-life-michael-foot

Our bandaids and figleafs are slipping.
We must reapply our bandaids to our figleafs
and cover our figleafs with our bandaids.

Aide: They have seen through the bandaid we
applied to our figleaf. Politico: Paint
over the figleaf and whitewash the bandaid.

Aide: They have seen through our figleaf,
calling it ’a transparent play in public
seduction.’ Legislator: Where’s a
skin-tone bandaid, when needed?

More Pricks than Kicks.
–Samuel Beckett

Vent the Pent.
–Samuel Beckett

Animal husbandry rules:
Pet the pet.
Vet the vet.

Everybody’s talking about
a new way of walking.
–Cannon’s Jug Stompers

I have an elaborate mnemonic for
remembering what day it is. It’s
called the number system.

Talk the talk.
Walk the walk.

Walk the talk.
Talk the walk.

There is nothing as practical as a
good theory.
–Kurt Lewin

There is nothing as good as a
practical theory.–Kurt Lewin’s
practicality maxim corollary

In theory, nothing is as practical
as a good theory. In practice, theory
is good for nothing practically.

In theory, nothing is as practical
as a good theory. In practice, theory
is good for practically nothing.

In theory, nothing is as practical
as a good theory. In practice, theory
is good for nothing practical.

Learn a third language and
be born again, again.
–Dr Bean

Whereof we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
–Ludwig Wittgenstein

To embark on a mass of unmotivated theory is
perhaps the simplest and quickest way of
losing the reader. –Ian Anderson

Whereof we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
–Ludwig Wittgenstein
We know more than we can say.
–Michael Polanyi

We know more than we can say.
–Michael Polanyi

The map is not the territory.
—Alfred Korzybski
It comes with the territory.

Dangle it in front of their
noses and see if they attack.
–An ‘animal spirits’ theory of instruction
http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_spirits_(Keynes)

Throw enough mud against the wall,
and some of it will stick.
–A conservative theory of instruction

The Socratic Method in court:
Never ask a question you don’t know
the answer to.

Gertrude Stein (on deathbed): What is the
answer? What is the answer? (Sits up)
What is the question?

Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is
to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates
his mind wonderfully.
–Samuel Johnson

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
–Samuel Johnson

Learn a second language and
be born again, almost.
–Dr Bean

Try it, you’ll like it. But if you
don’t do it anyway.–Ian Bicking

How do we make someone unafraid of failure,
but also eager for success?–Ian Bicking

Theory and practice. In theory, they are the
same thing. In practice, they are different.
–https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/04/14/theory/

In theory, theory and practice are the same
thing. In practice, they are different.
–https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/04/14/theory/

In theory, theory and practice are the same
thing. In practice, they are different.
–https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/04/14/theory/

Failure: What happens when the irresistible
force meets the immovable object.
–Dr Bean

No mind? No matter.
No matter? Never mind.

How are then and now?
Now and then.

What I allow I teach,
and all I teach is all that is allowed.
–Dr Bean

Lying in the gutter,
but looking at the stars.
–Oscar Wilde

Head in the clouds,
but feet on the ground.
–Richard Feynman on Einstein

If there is anything we can say after
standing on the shoulders of giants it
is that the position is precarious and
the view fleeting.

If I fell further, it was because I was
standing on the shoulders of giants.

If I did not see further, it was because of
the giants standing on my shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because of
the midgets standing on my shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because of
the giants standing on my shoulders, and the
giants who would not let me stand on their
shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because
those who would stand on my shoulders would
not have me stand on theirs.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because
those who would stand on my shoulders would
not have me stand on their shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because
those on whose shoulders I would stand would
stand on mine.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because
those on whose shoulders I would stand would
stand on my shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I did not see further, it was because
those who would stand on my shoulders would
not have me stand on their shoulders.
–Dr Bean

If I prevailed in a pissing match, it was
because I was standing on the shoulders of
giants.
–Dr Bean

If my water flew further, it was because
I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
–Dr Bean

Motorist: How do I get to Lonesome Pine.
Farmer: You can’t get there from here.
–Anonymous

Alice: Which way should I go from here?
Cat: That depends on where you want to go.
Alice: I don’t much care where. Cat: Then it
doesn’t matter which way you go.

Where do I have to be to get to
there from here?
–Dr Bean

If you have no teeth,
use your gums.
–Korean army saying.

Management is doing things right;
Leadership is doing the right things.
–Peter Drucker

Category theory : Telling you things
you already know in language you
don’t understand.

Grammar: Telling you things you already
know in language you don’t understand.

Where do I have to be to get to
where I want to be?
–Dr Bean

Your encyclopedia told me more about penguins
than I cared to know.
–Child to Pears’ Children Encyclopedia editor

Doing things right is doing the right thing.
Doing things wrong is education.
–Dr Bean

Every dog leaves its mark.
–Dr Bean

Every dog leaves its mark. But,
if I did not see further, it was
because of anklebiters–Dr Bean

Why I am not a vegetarian–
Biology trumps ideology.
–Dr Bean

Why I am a vegetarian: I have no problem with
dogs eating meat, but the idea of a meat-eating
monkey is unacceptable. –Dr Bean

Why I am a vegetarian: I have no problem with
dogs eating meat, but I cannot accept the idea
of monkeys eating meat. –Dr Bean

God’s review committee:
You’ve overloaded the reproductive
functions on the eliminatory functions!
God:
We’ll fix it in software.

A: What is the man who invented sex working on now?
B: He was a woman. Reproduction existed before sex.

A: What is the man who invented sex working on now?
Papert: On computers, the biggest thing since
reading and writing.

He who laughs last has not yet heard
the bad news. –Bertolt Brecht

Those who laugh last longest.
But those who laugh last laugh longest.
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/03/15/laughs/

Good and bad COVID news:
The good news is that only

2~3% are dying. The bad news | is that the rate for those over 65-years-of-age is 50%.

Nietzsche: ‘God is dead’ (1882)
God: ‘Nietzsche is dead’ (1900)
Nietzsche has yet to respond.
–J.F. Huesman

Nietzsche: God is dead (1882)
God: (answering in kind, 1900)
Your turn, Friedrich.
The rest is silence.

Nietzsche: God is dead (1882)
God: (giving him a taste of his
own medicine, 1900), See how you
like it, Friedrich.
Nietzsche fails to respond.

Napoleon: You allow God no
role in your solar system!
Laplace: I have no need of
that hypothesis.

God: You allow mind no
role in your psychology!
Behaviorism: We have no
need of that hypothesis.

Observe the climate of the era,
not the weather of the day.
–Paul Freund

Follow not the weather of the day.
But good luck with the climate of
the times.

School: When the students have to be there,
the teacher has to be there, too.
–Dr Bean

 –|  Home is where when you have to go
/   there they have to take you in.
_.–._/ –Robert Frost
      v –Peter Fletcher